Clarity Pt 1

by Farrukh " i feel so transparent" https://www.flickr.com/photos/swamibu/5496634282

In this post I choose four topics from the Clarity section that I was unaware of and could use in my own writing.

 Untangling Mixed Constructions
Although I understand what a mixed construction is (sentence parts that don't logically fit together) I never realized how easy it was to get mixed up.  As I was reading the examples I noticed that  I could have easily mixed up one of paragraphs. If I was in a rush to get something I could have slipped up on some grammar or the order of ideas that could be misconstrued to the reader. Even though I know what the paragraph is suppose to mean  I now know  I should read over it several times and revise it slowly just in case the reader gets confused.

Eliminating Distracting Shifts
This topic focuses on keeping everything consistent in terms of point of view, verb and mood. I didn't realize that a writer needs to keep everything the same , in terms of word choice. for example if you use jumped you should keep the other verbs past tense as well. It makes obvious sense but I tend to just write papers directly from the ideas in my head regardless of consistency in shifts or not, so this topic gave me something else to look out for in my revision.

Emphasize Key Ideas
The topic focuses on making sure you emphasize the main idea of a paragraph while making sure you subordinate a minor idea as well .I felt like this focused more  on the organization of a sentence and  making sure your main point stands out . It was new to me that there were many ways to make your point stand out in your writing, such as using sentence endings and parallel structure. The topic made me wonder if I did enough emphasizing in my paragraphs so that the reader will know what the key point is without having to search for it.

Tighten Wordy Sentences
The most important thing in revising my draft was the condensing of paragraphs because I felt like I wrote too much.In this topic it offered different ways to make a lengthy phrase into a concise one. For example it offered ways to cut out empty or inflated phrases with shorter ones as well as how to reduce clauses to phrases and those phrases to words . I wasn't sure how to cut out the unnecessary parts of my paragraphs without cutting out essential information so this particular topic was extremely helpful in that aspect.

Reflection:

While reviewing Olivia and Michaela's drafts I learned that a common factor was emphasizing the key point and tightening up wordy sentences. Olivia's draft  demonstrated emphasizing key points well with hyperlinks and quotes for example :"It definitely won’t kill you- “Aspartame is one of the most exhaustively studied substances in the human food supply, with more than 100 studies supporting its safety” (via FDA).  Perhaps the best advice comes from The Salt, “Drink water instead.”
As for wordy sentences Michaela's draft had an example ",In order for the land to be protected from mining, a bill proposed by Arizona representative Raul Grijalva would have to be passed to counteract the rider addition to the National Defense Authorization Act that handed the land over in the first place." Instead of this sentence it could be "For the land to be protected, a Bill would have to be passed to counteract the one that handed over the land in the first place.